Our only wish, to catch a fish, so juicy sweet.” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers “ The rock and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Very tricksy.” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers No crunchable birdses!” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers “ Stupid, fat hobbit.” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling you keep nasty chips. Sam: Po-tay-toes! Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew… Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish. Gollum: What’s taters, precious? What’s taters, eh? These are our favorite funny Smeagol/Gollum quotes. Occasionally Gollum says things that are actually quite funny, or sometimes it’s just the way he says them that are humorous, including when he’s actually insulting Sam and Frodo. Smeagol: Yes, we… we meant for us.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King The Funniest Gollum Lines Not very nice at all, my love.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Smeagol: And they doesn’t taste very nice, does they, Precious? Shh.” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers It’s too risky.” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Kill him! Kill him! Kill them both! And then we take the precious… and we be the master! We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Smeagol: No… No.” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Smeagol: Master is our friend… our friend.

“ Gollum: Sméagol… Why does he cry, Sméagol? Smeagol: Leave now, and never come back! LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK! We told him to go away… and away he goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! SMEAGOL IS FREE!” The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Gollum: Where would you be without me, uh? Gollum, gollum… I saved us! It was me! We survived because of me! Smeagol: I’m not listening… I’m not listening… Gollum: You don’t have any friends nobody likes you! Gollum: Yes, precious, false! They will cheat you, hurt you, LIE. Treacherous Gollum: Shut up!” The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey “ Friendly Gollum: Ooo, Ooo! We knows! We knows! then we EATS it! And if Baggins loses, then we eats it whole.” The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Treacherous Gollum: And if it loses… what then?įriendly Gollum: Well… if it loses, Precious. Gollum: Just… Just us?īilbo Baggins: Yes… Yes! And if I win, you… …You show me the way out, yes? Gollum: Wasn’t talking to you!” The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journeyīilbo Baggins: Why don’t we have a game of riddles… Just, just you and me. Gollum: Oh! We knows! We knows safe paths for hobbitses! Safe paths in the dark… SHUT UP! Bilbo Baggins: Yes, yes, and I want to get unlost… as soon as possible!

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